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i heart megadik

ok, so my work email gets at least 200 crap emails a day, 85% are about drugs and 90% of those drugs will enhance my penis size.  since i use outlook, each email appears open on my computer while i delete them, so quite often there are giant veiny dicks or girls in thongs on my screen — which my office-mates love to mock me for.  generally i just highlight them and delete in batches, and as i was doing so today, i met my match.

my eye was caught by a subject reading “beat her womb with your giant…”.  one — can we appreciate how hilarious this is — does that seem safe?  pleasureful?  does that include an abortion with the casual sex?  i don’t know, i’m not a doctor.  what i do know is that the email contained this great poem:

Now that you’ve met a lass that’s hot
You wanna screw her juicy twat.
She’s so attractive, she’s so nice!
But would your penile size suffice?
Not sure she will long for more?
You need a dic’k she would adore!
But how to get it long and thick?
Your only chance is MegaDik!
You’ll get so wanted super-size
And see great pleasure in her eyes!
Your schlong will pound her poon so deep,
Tonight you’ll hardly fall asleep!

So try today this wonder-pi’ll
And change your life at your own will!

i’ve been so amused all morning.  i really like the effort that went into this spam email, and as an expert, i must say that it is heads and shafts above the rest.  there are a few things that i don’t understand (mostly why there are so many apostrophes in words that don’t require them), but even though this product doesn’t apply to my gender, i would like to encourage people to use it so that they can keep up the great marketing.

I am starting to think Merriam-Webster’s word of the day is the coolest thing ever

I suggest you sign up.   Today’s word solves a little mystery behind a common symbol we lovingly refer to as the “Pound Sign”

The Word of the Day for November 9 is:

octothorpe \AHK-tuh-thorp\ noun

     : the symbol #

Example sentence:
     Barry noticed the pound sign on the telephone and remarked about how much the octothorpe resembled a tic-tac-toe grid.

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Did you know?
     Stories abound about who first called the # sign an “octothorpe” (which can also be spelled “octothorp”). Most of those tales link the name to various telephone workers in the 1960s, and all claim the “octo-” part refers to the eight points on the symbol, but the “thorpe” remains a mystery. One story links it to a telephone company employee who happened to burp while talking about the symbol with co-workers. Another relates it to the athlete Jim Thorpe, and a third claims it derives from an Old English word for “village.” If the plethora of theories leaves your head spinning, you might want to take the advice of the wag who asked (poetically), “Can we simply just say, / Ere it spoils your day, / It’s the thorp between seven and nine?”

*Indicates the sense illustrated in the example sentence.