Due to my procrastination, I discovered tonight that I have to take a math placement test by tomorrow. As appalled as I am, the folks at community college might have a point because I haven’t taken a real math class since junior year of high school, 7 years ago. I came home from work with genuine intentions of studying, but first I needed to round up a calculator. I asked everyone and searched the house, and really this is all that my family could come up with: Raphael, a fake cell phone, crayons, a watch, or Mickey — quite the selection and not a real one in the bunch. I think it’s safe to say that the love for novelty items has spiraled out of control here when they have replaced even the most basic household tools and have taken over as standards in our home. I hope you all enjoy a glimpse of the craziness. Tomorrow I will be sporting Raphael, as he is the only one with a square root button.
PS Doesn’t it seem stupid that they would even make a Raphael calculator when clearly out of all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Donatello loved technology and machines the most? Amateurs.
Who hasn’t fallen asleep on the train. The Sleep Urbanite is a website that features the pictures taken by a Chicago artist of people asleep on the train. Neat little website, I was just worried that I might find one of myself with my mouth wide open and drool falling from it. I found it from a cool site called NetCot.org. NetCot.org also had a link to this Flickr album of another artist that coping with the urban atmosphere. It features advertisements with the heads removed. Whatever is used to cover the head makes it look like it was decapitated. I did not see Bee Movie, but I think that bee deserved to get decapitated.
Is Hasselhoff the new Chuck Norris?  The picture is from a mass email, so I don’t know who to give credit for finding it, but haunts my dreams.  I never could have thought that I might be raped by Mitch Buchannon or Michael Knight, but now I am not so sure.  And if that isn’t creepy enough, there is a blog that found two Christmas songs song by the Hoff from an import holiday cd. Check them out at your own discretion here.
NEW YORK—Delirium swept the nation this summer as the release of the seventh and final Harry Potter novel sent millions of Americans into a frenzy over some little wizard boy and all his flying wizard buddies going on another one of their little wizard adventures.
Enlarge Image WIZARD FEVER: Just look at all the people in their pointy wizard hats.
Thousands lined up at bookstores to purchase the fanciful tale, which chronicles the exploits of the adolescent wizard with his pointy hat and glasses, as he and his magical little friends go traipsing into the forbidden forest and attempt to defeat the evil Hufflestuff people with the sword of destiny, magic potions, and other such fantasy dragon bullshit.
“I can’t wait to see what happens to Harry!” said Boston resident Julie Nolsteen, 28, just one of many grown adults with an unbridled desire to read about child sorcerers playing with their little cauldrons and frolicking around reciting magical spells.
Nolsteen proceeded to rub her hands together with anticipation and ponder the fate of her favorite character, some guy named Dumblededoo or something.
The entire nation has been all worked up ever since J.K. Rowling announced that she would be concluding the series, with men and women waiting with bated breath to see if all the tiny little wizards were going to do all their crazy magic curses again. Message boards flooded with comments from fans who eagerly wondered whether the wizard boy was going to be eaten by mean old witches, or if he and all his mystical pals were going to find the fairy crystal and have themselves a grand old wizard time.
“This is the most important book in the history of literature,” wrote one man wearing a robe with moons and stars on it, who was clearly unable to conceal his enthusiasm for flying horses and magic dust. “I hope Lord Voldemort loses!”
Although the fervor has subsided since the book’s release this summer, the promise of a new Harry Potter film next year has already gotten the whole country excited beyond all reason to see the little wizard boy fly around on his little broomstick for two and a half hours.
Is Hasselhoff the new Chuck Norris?  The picture is from a mass email, so I don’t know who to give credit for finding it, but haunts my dreams.  I never could have thought that I might be raped by Mitch Buchannon or Michael Knight, but now I am not so sure.  And if that isn’t creepy enough, there is a blog that found two Christmas songs song by the Hoff from an import holiday cd. Check them out at your own discretion 