Portrait of a Dive Bar?

February 3, 2009 12:50 pm Published by

manet-edouard-a-bar-at-the-folies-bergere-2802872.jpgAnytime someone brings up a “great dive bar” to check out, there is almost always a sort of competition in which everyone knows some bar that is more of a dive than the next.  Well, at least among the people I know.  Anyways, I saw this post about photographer Matthew Scott, who put up a portfolio of some colorful pictures of locals he has been to.  Anyone from Chicago or Milwaukee can probably agree that these are not dives.  The only things that colorful in Murray’s are what come out of the Irishmens’ mouths.

I feel like Tracy Morgan in that sketch posted here not too long ago.  Cause theres requirements to being a dive bar:
Does the bar have a pool table with a lean that only the regulars know how to work?   Then it’s not a dive bar.
Does the bar sell scratch-offs?   Then it’s not a dive bar.
Does the bar still have a cd jukebox?  Is it broken?    Then it’s not a dive bar.
Does the bar have such a high nudie photo hunt record that breaking it is a matter of pride?    Then it’s not a dive bar.
Does it have shag carpeting on the wall?  Then it’s not a dive bar.
Does the bar automatically turn to Inside Edition at 3:00 to get ready for Jeopardy?   Then it’s not a dive bar.
Does the bar get visited by “the meat man?”   Then it’s not a dive bar.

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This post was written by Brian

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