To the inventor of the “Rick Roll”

March 4, 2009 5:19 pm Published by

Okay. I get it. You think you’re cool like me because you know obscure 1980’s music. But here’s the best part. You think it’s funny to “Rick Roll” me by making me think that I’m going to watch something interesting, but when I click the link, “What the fuck is Rick Astley doing singing ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ when I’m supposed to be watching a Family Guy clip?” are the only words that can come into my brain. Oh, I get it, you played a fucking joke on me. Kinda like when we were in 2nd grade and you would point over my shoulder and say, “What’s that over there?” Then I would look and everyone would laugh and sing in malicious unison, “Made you look, made you look, now you’re in my baby book!” Fine. I can take a joke…

…every once in a while…

…but this has gotten out of hand. As if there wasn’t enough useless shit posted on youtube (I’m talking about drunken frat boys shooting bottle rockets out of their assholes and 16 year old girls crying in their video blogs about how much their lives suck), now I have to deal with this. Again, it would be fine if it happened once in a while, but when I want to visit a link and I immediately hear the opening drum riff and see a red-haired guy in a gray suit, it’s the most ANNOYING FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD. One person started this fucking thing. I love a good prank, but whoever you are, inventor of the “Rick Roll,” you have opened up the Pandora’s Box of fucking with people on the internet. I can’t trust any of the videos on youtube that I actually want to watch because one million people followed in your shoes because they think they’re funny, too. Youtube was intended for people to post videos that other people would actually give a shit about. But immature, fledgling technologists worldwide have bastardized it and made it a forum of pure fuck.

I can’t watch anything anymore. When I look for something obscure and see a link for it, only to have a little chat bubble pop up exclaiming “YOU’VE BEEN RICK ROLLED,” I lose my fucking mind. Goddamn it, you’re not even looking over my shoulder in anticipation waiting for me to click this shit. In fact, you will never know that I even clicked it. But the problem is that I know. I know that I clicked it. I also know that you are a cocksucker. I also know that you spend all your time thinking about the next “clip” that you’re going to make. Guess what. The fun is over. Nobody likes this shit anymore. It’s not funny, and Rick Astley went from being an ’80s one-hit wonder to a nobody to a youtube phenomenon to a fucking asshole. I can’t even listen to the song anymore because of you. So thank you for ruining Rick Astley. Thank you for deleting him from my library. Thank you for ruining youtube. Thank you for ruining the internet in general. Thank you for ruining my day.

Worthless ass fuckhead.

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This post was written by Matt


  • kelly says:

    not gonna lie — i still find the rick roll to be hilarious and usually sit back and enjoy it when it happens. but i will also admit that i got pretty excited about finding a penny today, so maybe i’m not the best judge…

  • Matt says:

    If you had found the penny and someone had super-glued it to the ground and when you went to pick it up they came out of the bushes dressed like Rick Astley with a boom-box playing “Never Gonna Give You Up” I’ll bet you would have been pretty annoyed…wait a second…that would actually be pretty hilarious.

  • Joan says:

    who the f still picks up pennies anymore? they deserve to get rick rolled!

  • kelly says:

    people who like good luck, that’s who. and guess what joan, next time i see you i will be hiding in your bushes, dressed like a giant baby boy, throwing pennies at your face.